Coaching Fails When It’s Based in Fear

The CFO of a large manufacturing company recently contacted me to coach his very tenured finance executive, “Marie.” In our chemistry discussion, Marie came across as highly-skilled, somewhat reserved, very perfectionistic  – pretty much what her boss had described. The CFO had also shared Marie wasn’t very engaged with her team, had stark rough edges, and despite feedback was struggling to motivate her reports. In the midst of their big organizational changes and to be successful in her role, these behaviors were crucial. Pretty typical beginning of a coaching assignment. Yet as the contract was passed back to me, the fine print revealed a shiny red flag.

The contract (not the CFO conversation), said that for Marie, the coaching was part of a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). The language in the PIP stated that if this leader’s behavior didn’t improve, “measures would be taken.”  Not all PIPs are negative, but this particular performance improvement effort really was a fairly familiar, last ditch performance-improvement threat. Marie’s job was at risk. Similarly, I recently heard from a non-profit board member about their Director, “Dave.” Despite being very passionate about the mission, the board had stark concerns about his performance. My spider-sense said this was another “check the box” task and there was more to the story.  Although I caught a glimmer of hope from the board member, as I asked some deeper questions the glimmer was snuffed out by their skepticism that Dave would be able to turn things around. And worse, he had not been given honest feedback along the way to know how truly off course he was. He was only now receiving it, in the same breath as a need to hire a coach.

I know some are already nodding in agreement with my concerns. After all, by definition coaching is a process to help bring out someone’s highest potential. To help them think bigger, more expansively about what is possible. When coaching comes with potential punishment like risk for termination or role change (which may include demotion and maybe salary reduction), the efforts are set up on the bedrock of mistrust.  Fear is now inevitably part of the mix. It causes us to close our periphery to possibility – to narrow our focus, as our brains guard against threats. And fear will ultimately cause the project to fail before it begins.

My passion in the coaching process is anchored in the transformational results it can bring. The type of results that are primed to happen in companies that hold a positive intention with it, even when dealing with may seem insurmountable. Well-intended and talented coaches, HR leaders, and bosses of the coaching clients – team together to explore what is possible. We don’t always know how it will land, but with this mindset, even the sometimes reluctant or defensive leaders know there is space and support to truly work on themselves. And no matter the outcome, they can give it their best.

Some of my suggestions as you consider coaching for the leader you truly aim to help:

• Do not seek a coach when your leader has not been given honest and direct means to first work on their gaps, and hopefully way before a performance improvement plan ever happens.
• Do not give coaching as an “improvement or demotion/termination” proposition” – overt or implied.
• Do bring in the coach for the people you know you want to retain. Use it when they are newly promoted, or established but sorting through issues such as communication, leadership, team or collaboration challenges.
• Do have the leader speak with at least 2-3 coaches that you have vetted, so they come from a place of choice and control.
• Do use a coach as a partner in the success of the leader, not as a solution that the organization would prefer not to deal with themselves – as in a hand-off or outsourcing to avoid challenging conversations or situations.
• Do use coaching with leaders you most want to invest in, and position it for the benefit and ROI it brings, personally and professionally – no matter where it leads them.

As the stories played out, I did not accept either one of these assignments. At the time of this writing, the finance leader is still in her role, and the non-profit director is gone. I had shared my experience around how to use coaching to truly help leaders succeed, and I believe it was taken to heart. That said, culture change is the steering of a big ship, and as we know takes strategy, time and more.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  What is the best and worst you’ve seen with the offer of coaching, and what would you add to this list?